It’s been a while. Since I wrote on this platform. The only writing I have done in the past three years is scientific jargon, some of which I myself don’t understand till date. When I entered super specialty training, I was hit by the term “Evidence based medicine”. Suddenly I realized, I cannot just “say” things. I need to find people who have studied it, proven it, published it and then only can I make heroic attempts to make some statements. I need to be able to quote who has studied it at a moments notice. Every time I sat down to write a scientific paper, the edits would come with big red marks saying “Quote reference”. My brain constantly struggled to remember how I knew a certain fact. Where did I read it? It was not just enough to merely know. You had to know why you know.
While this rigorous process is absolutely necessary in science, especially medicine, the creative part of my brain, one which could sit down and start writing paragraphs to express what I was feeling at any point slowly regressed to a corner. Day in and day out, it watched its big brother, the scientific brain, obsessively open twenty tabs and read 40 papers to be able to write one paragraph. Whenever the creative brain tried to put a sentence or opinion in, big brother hollered “REFERENCE!” and little brother went scampering into the corner.
The training is over. The papers are published and accolades received. The degree is in hand. But something is missing.
We are in midst of a raging second wave of a pandemic. Humanity is experiencing a myriad range of emotions. There is anxiety, grief, terror and uncertainty. The young, old, new and experienced, all are in uncharted territory. And the brain and heart need an outlet. No amount of scientific data makes dealing with the uncertainty any easier. This is where art in any form steps in. And this where the scientific brain reluctantly steps aside. I need the creative brain. Not everything can be expressed in ratios, proportions and P values. Not everything can be validated by a third person. Some things are raw and unedited. Welcome back, my creative brain. Don’t leave me this time.
medicineandbeyond 